Sister confronts brother who raped her three times a week for four years

A sister has faced her rapist brother and confronted him on the years of abuse he subjected her to as a child for the first time in a moving documentary.

Channel 4’s The Family Secret last night followed Kath, 33, as she sought closure over the sexual abuse she suffered at her brother Robert’s hands.

She was raped three times a week from the age of seven until she was 11. Robert was 11 when the abuse started.

Kath, from the Midlands, didn’t tell anyone for 25 years because she was worried it would break her mother’s heart.

After becoming a mother herself at 32, she finally opened up about what Robert had done.

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In the programme, Kath and her mother Andrea faced Robert, 37, for a restorative justice meeting, bravely correcting him when he referred to raping Kath as ‘intimate’.

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He said: ‘Visiting Kath at night when everyone else was asleep, climbing into bed with her, touching her, rubbing up against her and I suppose getting myself off with it.

‘Then it got more intimate, asking Kath to touch me, and it went further than that to actual sex and penetration.’

Kath told him: ‘So I think to use the word intimate… it wasn’t intimate.

‘What you did was rape. There was no enjoyment from my part at any point, regardless of what you thought.

‘There was never a stage that I wanted it.’

Robert responds: ‘I completely agree, I understand completely Kath.’

She tells him: ‘I mean I was seven, seven years old, nobody deserves that. Let alone, your sister.’

Later in the programme, Kath described in detail the attacks that she said happened regularly – two or three times a week.

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She said: ‘He’d want me to go on top and breathe really heavy and make noises and stuff. He’d ask me to do that and I can remember his breath and the quiver of his voice and the smell of body odor. His breath smelt.

‘It was just awful because he was so overpowering. He was so much bigger than me. He was a big lad and I was tiny.

‘I felt like he was an octopus on top of me, putting his hands in all my private places and parts and I’d be crying my eyes out and begging him to stop because I was just petrified but he was so sinister and so evil.

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‘Sometimes it was just easier not to fight and just to let him do what he wanted to do.’

Kath told the programme she had been living with the secret of her abuse for 25 years, saying: ‘It eats away with you.’

‘I need to face him and look in in the eye,’ she said.

Robert and Kath’s mother, Andrea, said: ‘It’s about getting some type of closure, because it’s something that happened that shouldn’t have happened and the impact of that is tremendous.

‘We need that ending.’


In the meeting, Robert told Kath he ‘didn’t know’ why he had abused her, saying: ‘It was more about the release that I felt afterwards.

‘And that high. It was all selfish desire and the euphoria of all of it – I enjoyed that.’

Kath ended the restorative justice meeting by telling her rapist: ‘I will not have you in my life now, I can’t forgive you.

‘You’ll always be my brother, but you’re still the rapist who came into my bedroom and did those things.’


The Family Secret is now available on All 4.

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